2014年9月17日水曜日

TOEFL勉強法 - Writing ③

最後に一つ具体例を載せたい。
これは過去に自分で解いてエッセイ無料チェックを受けた問題と回答だ。(ちなみに回答の内容は思いつきのフィクションが半分)

たまたまほぼ同じ問題がTOEFLで出たので、ほぼ同様の内容を書いた。

その結果、スコアが28点だった。20点台後半を目指す際参考程度に読んでもらえれば幸いだ。



QuestionDo you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.



As humans, we devote a great deal of our lives to learning thingsfrom parents, friends, and teachers. Whereas many people believe that parents are the best teachers, I personally believe that parents as best teachers is only true for part of life. Actually a large part of what happens in one’s life is taught more effectively by others - school teachers, friends, or supervisors- people who are experienced in specialized areas of life: universities’ admissions and career development. 

To begin with, people cannot be good advisers about something unless they know or experience the situation. One good illustration of this is that if parents never went to college or university, they are not able to advise what it is like to enter university.  For example, I graduated from a university in Tokyo, but my parents both only graduated from high schools and have never moved out of a town where they were born. When I said to them, “I would like to go to university in Tokyo”, my parents said, “What’s the point? You can work in this town after high school. We have made our livings here without bachelor degrees.” As can be seen in the conversation, it was very tough to make them understand the value of going to university and to persuade them to allow me to do so. Also, when making research on universities, I had to consult with teachers and friends about which university I should attend because none of my parents knew anything about them. In deed, my best teachers for the specialized are of university admission were friends and teachers at high school, not my parents.

Moreover, it is also difficult for parents to give advice about work which has been changing rapidly in the world now. For instance, I have been working in the financial industry, where a lot of technical knowledge is required and many changes in markets happen in a short period of time. When I decided to work in the industry, I talked to my parents although I did not intend to change my decision due to their feedback. They told me that the industry is not good because the industry is just making loans to companies based on collaterals of real estate without thinking anything. They also said that manufacturing industries such as Toyota or Mitsubishi Motors are much better and meaningful to work at. I was very sad to know that their thought were obsolete and they lacked knowledge about the recent trend of the economy and popularity of the financial industry, which is more creative and requires more advanced skills than they thought. In view of this, it is dangerous to believe advice from parents who have lived different generation.

Nonetheless, many people contend that parents are the best teachers because they spend more time with children in a variety of circumstances—at home, in community activities, among neighbors, and with relatives. However, the benefits of learning from people with specialized knowledge far outweigh the more limited value of learning from one’s parents.
  

   In conclusion, I believe parents are not the best teachers. As one’s life is more complex and has too many problems to be solved by parents, people should seek the best teacher depending on a subjectteachers and university students in contemplating university admissions and employment resources in dealing with career development. (562 words)


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